Poop & Pee Dog Copyright Violation Ceremony documentation by tentatively a. convenience

(One of the most notorious events in the history of Neoism – Baltimore, Maryland. We found this documentation by tentatively a. convenience, who staged the event. If this can be believed, it clarifies the facts of what took place.)

57. Poop & Pee Dog Copyright Violation Ceremony

  • 14BX Sub-Par/Con (The 3rd Church & Foundation of the Subgenius Convention), a Baltimore Train Tunnel, us@
  • September 18, 1983, very early morning
  • A wire was stretched across the train tunnel thru an eye hook & 2 partially truncated & mummified dog corpses that I’d found there that had apparently been run over by trains were hung from the wire on either side of the tracks. A metal sheet with instructions for using Black & Decker power tools with a No Copyright symbol spray-painted on it was suspended between the dogs. The dogs were painted white with the words “Poop” painted on 1 of them & “Pee” painted on the other & glowing cyalume light sticks were placed between their rear legs. The walls of the tunnel were spray-painted with non-intersecting (except for, perhaps, the occasional accident) squiggly lines which I associated somehow with native Australian dreamtime culture. A strobe light flashed, someone made the dogs dance by tugging on the wire, & Ron Cummings manipulated & played tapes that he’d made of him beating on the dead dogs. I was naked except for my shoes & socks & I had white squiggly lines painted on me. I danced & gyrated wildly & beat the dogs & the thunder sheet with a club. The dogs were on fire & exuded what one might call a “foul” smell. I had been entrusted with the sacred head of Arnold Palmer by a representative of the Bloody Head Launcher’s Society which I had set on fire & which I was also beating about the tunnel. The title of this ceremony was a reference to “Pee-Dog” comix by Jay Condum & Gary Panter & “Poop-Dog” comix (which was a friendly rip-off of “Pee-Dog”) by the Reverends Ivan Stang & Sterno Keckhaver. Eventually a large quantity of police came (from the railroad cops, the city police, & the nearby federal reserve bank guards) because 1 of the attendees reported having witnessed something “horrible & immoral” & I was arrested. When the “news” found out about this (it was done partially as a publicity stunt anyway) they “reported” that I was a “Cult Leader” who was “praying to the dogs” etc. Very little attempt was made to actually find out who I really was or what I actually was doing & when I was interviewed what I actually had to say was considered too weird to quote. I was quoted both in the newspapers & on tv as saying things that I hadn’t said by people who hadn’t even been present at the time when I’d supposedly said them. The cop who’d arrested me bought a photo of this ceremony from me. Another cop who’d allegedly been on the “force” for 26 years was quoted as saying in the newspapers “I’d rather run up against a man with a gun than a situation like that!” The beat goes on..
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