Urgent mail from Ms. Rebecca Guyver (Ringshall, Suffolk, UK) – A lynx in the henhouse!

 

Our good friend Rebecca Guyver, from the visual poetry book project, sent us this wonderful yet disturbing missive from the UK concerning an alleged lynx attack on a hen. Her message is reconstructed: “I wonder if it was lynxes that caught our hen in its canines. A little girl found this feather and wonders if it is a clue.”

The pressing concern of lynx pillfering aside, this mail-art is a remarkable synthesis of MinXus-Lynxus and Trashpo. We are very pleased that it graces this humble blog. (Thx Dw for cleanin up the writing up to this point.)

Now Ms. Guyver, as to the question of whether this was the work of lynxes, we cant precisely be sure as there are a hole lot of other varmints that could be what we call natural predators to your chicken ranch. But I always say: “Guilty til proven innocent.” As I used to say to my boys when we was fightin God’s war: “Better be safe than sorry.” Or as I read in one of them books by Marlon Brando & Marty Sheen: “Exterminate the brutes!”

Now we know there is lynxes over in Alsace, practically your neighbor. I always say Empress Marie is way too tolerant of them Alsacian lynxes always sayin how purty they is. The hell they raise over here with the Mink Ranch, well if I told you some of the stories it id put a tray of ice cubes in your jammies for sure. I wouldnt be surprised if them Alsacian lynxes have somehow managed to get a foothold & are tryin for anarchy in the UK. Now ya know, back in the big tea party war, some of my kin considered themselves Tories. So we know where we stand on uprisens (winx, winx). Goddamned if we had a good man like George III back in the saddle over on this side a the pond, he’d clean up a hole peck of the troubles we got right fast.

Ms. Guyver, if you is tryin to run a legit chicken ranch over there, I highly ‘commend you ARM YERSELF TO THE TEETH. I’d be glad to ‘commend you on how to obtain some purty heavy firepower & ammo threw some x-military associates of mine.

That young ‘un you mention: Dw has carried firearms since he was 3, and I think it has built character in the boy. To be honest, girls are much better shots than boys. And they is also might good with a knife. You give that young ‘un a shotgun & send her out to get that lynx that et her chicken. Tell er to bringya back an ear. Its the only way she’s gonna work through the trauma of what happened & I am genuinely sorry she had to sperience that.

Now as you are a chicken rancher, Ms. Guyver, I do wanna pose a question: “What’s worse? A minx or a lynx?”

Frankly, I figure I’d have a better chance surviv’n an onslaught of 1200 ‘ungry lynxes than the wiles of one clever minx.

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